The End of a Chapter

It is with great sadness I am having to write about the end of a chapter in my life, On the last days of November 2017 I had to say good bye to my two babies, the last of my dogs Zac and Ruby,
Zac had been slowing up on walks with his legs giving way more and more often, but he'd pick himself up and soldier on, and as long as he appeared not to be in pain, I went along with it.
Ruby was also having occasional 'sit downs ' on walks .
Zac had started to lose control of his bowels and often left a little 'parcel' behind when rising from a sleep, fortunately it was solid and easily disposed of. Then Ruby started to do the same.
I continued our walks usually twice daily, but getting shorter and slower.  I had to back the car up to a pavement for Zac to get back in , at home I had a pallet for him by the rear of the car and he coped well with it, as he was too big and heavy for me to pick him up.
One afternoon setting off for our walk , he fell over twice before we got ten yards, I got some help getting him back to the car, and knew that would be the last walk at Fawcett's Fields, our regular spot.
I knew it was time to phone the vet and arrange for them to come the next day at 3pm 28th November.
He went peacefully in my arms.
A little later that evening  I took Ruby for a walk to the bottom of the drive and let her on the grass, she just stood there looking around, 'where is he' ? you could almost read her thoughts as she stood looking there..
I took her back up the drive and she went to bed, wouldn't eat nor drink, collapsed when she went for a last wee, I knew that the time was for me to make the decision again.
. Next morning I phoned the vet  and they came 10 am, 29th November, even they were quite saddened by the occasion.
Well, so here I am with no best, best friends and am still a bit numb, but am well aware that it is over. The thought of never seeing them again catches in my throat now and then, but I am keeping busy, though it's mostly bedtime, when all is quiet and the world slows down, it hits me .
It will get better I do know that , but till then I just have to ride the wave of grief till the seas calm and I can look back and smile.
Thank you so much to ALL my dogs, all ten of you, for giving me so many happy memories and enriching my life , for all the dog hair, wet and muddy walks missing out on holidays, I'd do it all over again to have just one of you here with me.